​

On or about February 14, 2011, while preparing for deep meditation I ventured to understand more about myself and whether the man I had fallen in love with would share his life with me in a significant way.  As I journeyed into meditation, and the gateway of my mind, I was face to face with a red door.  This door has always been the point in my meditation where I reach the deeper realms of unconsciousness and leave the world as I know it behind. 

This time upon exiting the door, I entered a garden orchard of fresh fruit trees including grapefruit, lemons, apples, peaches, oranges, pears, and ample strawberry bushes full of plump ripe berries; many of my favorite fruits. As I looked further, I discovered a path; narrow but sure. I began to follow the path which lead downward towards a beach that bordered a beautiful blue/green ocean.  As I left the path and walked upon the rich tan warm sand, in the distance a few hundred yards away.  I saw my love walking with the Goddess Hetheru.  I knew her on sight as we have often spoken on my many occasions of meditation.  Suddenly, a fit of jealousy arose in me.  I knew that even though I asked the question, she would give him the answer.  They walked laughing, intimately connected, as their white linens caught like sails in the wind and outline their perfect bodies, evenly matched. 

I grew more and more jealous as she looked at me and smiled.  They parted ways as he headed for the path that I had walked previously.  She walked up to me, in her warm and loving manner, putting me at ease by placing her hand on my shoulder and said, “Beloved, he is not the one for you.”  I was terribly hurt by her words.  I just knew that we were equally matched and would share a life of adventure, love, and continue to elevate to new spiritual heights as we had done over the years.  She said, “Dearest, I know you want him but it will only end in your hurt and anguish.”  I yelled to her, “I decide my fate! We can choose to be together!  Our love is strong!”  She stepped back and never spoke of the matter again. She simply smiled at my naiveté. I humbly embraced her and turned to walk back down the path that I had come. I felt foolish and dismayed as I walked the path back beyond the fruit trees toward the red door.

As I returned from my meditation and adventure I knew she only had my best interest at heart.  I still felt as though there was hope for my love and me in spite of the Goddess’ prophecy. The years would prove her to have spoken truth and love to me.  While we continued to love each other it was clear that we were not to have the union that I so desired.  He had no interest in building a life with me.  We had shared life beyond the everyday and had tasted living and walking in spiritual places.  As much as I wanted to journey further with him he had other plans to journey and experience life with others.