• Heather Hetheru, Personal Change Coach

Divorce: Mending a Broken Covenant


Good Day Good People!

For those of you who have endured the pain, anguish, humiliation, and shame of divorce; I pray that this insight strengthens and encourages you! Having endured 2 painful divorces, I consider myself a bit seasoned on this topic! If you didn’t realize that the loss of your beloved through divorce is similar to the death of a loved one; let me add a bit of insight to this process. We often feel the same symptoms and endure similar stages of grief. A major difference is when we see or engage our former partner/mate we often re-live the symptoms like re-opening a closing wound. This is one of the reasons why we want to reconcile (to eliminate the pain or give it more time to heal), act violently, as well as feel the intense loneliness and the separation causes. It is also the same reason that we lash out in anger, act hateful, resentful, and manipulate. It's also why the very thought or presence of the person causes such an emotional disturbance; but it is of our OWN bitterness! If we are not careful it will clog arteries, de-regulate your heart beat, hardened your womb, age your skin, damage digestion, and create chaos in other relationships.

Let me share a deeper insight. Many of us put our marriage under a covenant when we took our vows. A Covenant is an agreement between you and God that not only binds you but your children for the generations to come until it is fulfilled. It grants a supernatural protection and covering when honored. As my last Divorce Court Judge explained, when you agree to be married you have made several promises and agreements to each other, before your witnesses, and God… “for better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health… and many more.” You had to have someone administer the vows and you also had to have witnesses to share your joy! Guess what? Your divorce is the same way! Your judge administers the divorce decree and your children, your family and friends get to witness and share your shame.

INTENTION of Actions

In universal cosmic law, we are entitled to/bound by the laws of correspondence (as above so below) and polarity (basically the law of opposites) among others. The time that it took to fall "in" love, engage in the courtship, and commit to your marriage; those same whispered promises must be undone or re-assigned with divorce...remember a promise is a promise and your WORD is eternal. While this is a devastating form of grief and painful "spiritual" tare you must endure to get to the other side of THROUGH. It is also a “trying” process on a mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual level. The stages of grief are: shock, emotional release, depression, physical symptoms of distress, anxiety, hostility, guilt, inability to return to normal activity, healing, and acceptance. Sound familiar? Sometimes we get stuck in any number of these stages especially when we DON’T know that we are GOING THROUGH a process. All we know is that it hurts and we want it to stop!

Fortunately, for our sense of our balance, for our growth, for our journey we go through the process for love (action) and we endure (feeling) even if it ends in divorce… but we CAN survive! A healthy transition of the process happens when we are equipped with information, insights, self-love and God at the center of our life. Remember at your marriage you stood before God together when you divorce you stand before God alone (the laws of polarity and correspondence at work). The harder reality is facing the “Whys” of a broken marriage and the questions it often raises. Was I (or my mate) really ready? Where there signs to wait or delay? Were they the right person? Did I (or they) enter this covenant with secrets or a hidden agenda? Was I whole and healed when I entered this covenant? Did I understand the COVENANT that I was entering or was it just words?

SOLUTION for Consideration

Once you get beyond the tears, tare, blame, shame, and anger you CAN HEAL! Your starting place is to FORGIVE! Forgive yourself for your part in the breakdown… forgive your mate for their part in the breakdown and submit yourself for a period of deep self-reflection and self-care. Distractions will come… Yes, I get the stage of no commitment but need for physical contact (it may even be your ex-asking). I get the rebuilding of your self-image from someone else finding you attractive and giving you attention (often from those witnesses who were looming in the shadows waiting for an opportunity for your guard to lower—I know, it’s REAL)! More importantly, you must mend your COVENANT.

Remember a Covenant is your agreement with God that not only binds you but the generations and ideas (--- this is for another time) birthed through you until it is fulfilled. You must release your mate through forgiveness but you must continue to act in love (anywhere God is; there is Love and anywhere Love is; there is GOD) “toward” them through your act of prayer, humility, and forgiveness of them and yourself… “for better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health…” and through your reflection of many more of the promises you made. God always provides a “ram” in the bush! But you have to look with clear spiritual eyes (forgiveness) to see it in the physical! If you loved and married once, chances are you will love and marry again... honor your covenant and God will too!

Let the Journey Continue….

RESOURCES:

Cardinal In Red Dress: My Journey from the Valley of Death by Heather Hetheru Miller available on Amazon

www.yourinspiredjourney.com workshops: The Secret Chamber, From Secret to Sacred, and Divorce: Mending A Broken Covenant

#dovorce #covenant #marriage #brokenrelationship #commitment #healing #vows

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